Have you ever asked the people closest to you what they think of you? What they see as your strengths and what they perceive to be the tasks that you are really, really good at? Well i have, just this past week, as it happens.

I had to do this task for a series of seminars i’m attending this week, to ask those who know me in different capacities to tell me precisely those things. Boy oh boy, what a treat in my inbox! Talk about the most amazing pick-me-up! I was astonished to see the similarities between the comments made, because it served as confirmation that the things these people saw in me must indeed be true! It is hard sometimes to be honest to oneself about one’s strengths, to honour the valuable gems and talents that lie latent within, to accept the noble station that we are all capable of rising to fulfil. But one thing is for sure, if you’re ever having a bad day, ask your friends to email you their immediate thoughts about your skills and your strengths, it will truly put a smile on yo’ dial

I was so in need of the energy boost this week and to show you all how beautiful all my friends are for promoting me and helping me truly see and feel a sense of genuine, heartfelt self-worth, i decided to take their words and make a cloud image of them, so that you could all partake in the love that has been showered upon me.

I’ll even let you borrow some words to apply to yourselves, because really, you all have some, if not all, of these same shining attributes within you too. So, as you pass your eye over a word that speaks to you, take it as my gift to you, accept it and say “yes, that’s true! I am exactly that!” (click on the image to bring it up large in your browser).

I’m in a little bit of pain right now, or rather, a lot of pain, but the one thing i will say is that life is full of amazing lessons and without pain or struggle, sacrifice or difficulty, there is no growth. And if there is no growth, then there’s only the reverse of growth, which is what? Stagnation, death and decay. Oooh how morbid is that! No thank you. I choose growth! I choose progress! I choose love and i choose light!

I have a dear friend who just emailed me a lovely poem about not giving up when the going gets tough. I’d like to share it with you,

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor’s cup,

And he learned too late when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out–

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

I feel very blessed to have such great friends, who tell me they love me and that i am awesome. They know me inside and out and they let me be me. They sing my praises and they lift me up, and when i return the love they accept it and say thank you.

That is quite possibly the most wondrous blessing i’ve experienced this last week. How incredibly fortunate i am to have friends like you (i’m hazarding a guess that if you’re reading this, then you are either a friend or someone who values friendship, in which case, you count, for me, you count).

I’m learning to be friendly towards numbers, mathematical equations, budgeting, financial statements, receipts and so on. But whilst that befriending is going on, i’m enjoying little life equations like this:

and the idea that

positive thoughts + good feelings + epic actions = awesome results

I’ve just finished my 16th annual period of Fasting. 19 days in length, a time for spiritual reflection and rejuvenation, for refocusing my energies, and a time where i push myself to excel in ways i wouldn’t normally stretch. This is where i recall the year that’s been, break a barrier or two, and am renewed….ready for the year ahead.

This time last year i was struggling to get through the Fast, having lost my family home and spent several days not sleeping, collecting water from burst wells in the street, and washing myself clean out at the airport once in 5 days because that was the only place a hot shower could be found, and my dad had work access to it. That was the hardest Fast of my life. Usually i look forward to this time and i feel restored by the end of it…but last year, i just felt exhausted.

2011 was a tough time, for sure, but it was a time of really figuring out what i was made of. Resilience is an interesting thing; when you think you cannot go any further, cannot stretch your brain or your body or your will anymore, resilience steps in and you find yourself doing things you previously thought impossible. 2012, on the other hand, is a time for rebuilding, reforming solid foundations and stepping up. No more weakness, no more frailties, no more wallowing in anything other than utter joy at the amazing bounty of having lived through and overcome what will be one of the world’s great historic tragedies, and of having survived to tell the tale.

This Fast, i was determined to be invincible. I rose early, some days earlier than i needed to, to nourish my spirit and to enjoy a breakfast that would fuel my body enough to push it to the extreme during the day. As a trainer, people often ask me if they should alter their workouts or forget fitness during the time of fasting so that they don’t harm themselves. The way i see it, if you are waiting for a time to push yourself ever in your life, this is the time to do it. Be responsible, be sensible, make good decisions, and don’t neglect what your body is telling you, and then stretch. I’ll say that again. S  t     r       e       t         c           h.

I upped my fitness regime from 3 hours of high intensity training a week to a little over 9 hours a week. I would rise early enough to drink one-two litres of water and eat a high protein meal followed by a low GI meal of slow-releasing carbohydrates. Then i would crack on with my awesome day.

I never got hungry, i never got thirsty.

I was always alert, always productive and all of a sudden i had time on my hands – that elusive entity that we all seek, ahhhh time. To have more of it is easy – just get up earlier and focus your energies on opportunities and avenues for growth. Productivity seems to naturally increase when you are working on improving yourself.

But why would i use this time to improve myself? Because that is how i improve others. How can i hope to assist someone else’s growth if i am not concerned about my own? How can i expect to expand without work and struggle? Like the germ of the seed breaking through, this year is my time to go forward, to press onward.

Last weekend i went and did something i never thought i would do – i entered a duathlon with a friend. I’ve never really been one to participate in races or high level competition, despite enjoying the drive that comes from competing (even if only against myself). During this race however, i was more concerned with the stunning surroundings of mountains, lakes, rivers and cloudless blue skies than the actual time on the clock. The 20km mountain bike track was treacherous; crossing several rivers on foot, with my bike, then pushing it up a steep incline for at least 2 kilometres in the intense midday sun, and finally making the decent back to the transition area where my teammate was waiting. I have bruises that i don’t remember getting and muscular aches that serve only as a reminder of the brutal hill climbs that never seemed to end. And yet, the victory of coming first place in our category – a complete surprise by the way – was just the cherry on top of a day that was filled with joyous success – we aimed to complete it within a set period of time and we did; the day was gorgeous and the surrounding views were breathtaking; and that final win just made it all the more sweet.

And so, to reflect on the end of the Fast, the beginning of a new spiritual year (as Bahá’ís will be celebrating their new year or “Naw-Rúz” tomorrow, on the 21st) and a plunge into the current year of growth, i can say only one thing: that i am grateful. I am truly grateful for the ability to do all of these things and so many more that i haven’t the occasion to share with you all. I am grateful for all of you out there – for your friendship and for your prayers and for your assistance and for your feedback and for your kindness and for your laughter and for the sharing of your own struggles and successes, for your support and for your encouragement, for your compliments and for your criticisms. My intention this year is to grow, grow, grow, and i know that you are all helping me to do that, even if you don’t know it yet.

I am so excited i hope that your 2012 is equally as epic – and if it isn’t shaping up that way yet, change your intention and just watch…it will.

(from assets.lifehack.org)

“Perfection is without limit” ~ ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

I just came back from a business seminar in Australia at which i learnt a great many things. Among them was the thought that what you focus on, expands. What an interesting thought! Have you ever noticed that when you are looking for a specific item to purchase, say, a car for instance, you start seeing the type of car you want literally EVERYWHERE you go? Or when you’re having a bad day it seems to just get worse? Or when you are having a marvellous day, filled with smiles and friends and fabulous hot beverages (tea for two is always more fun), then it always, always gets better?

Think about it. What you focus on, E X  P   A    N      D        S

So i have been focusing on goals; real, tangible, previously crazy-sounding, break-the-glass-ceiling sorts of goals. The kind that take a whole lot of comfort zone-stretching to reach out for, the kind that force you to expand in all ways: mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically…the kind that take courage.

The above quote from the Bahá’í Faith is the tagline for my wellness business. When i first came across it i was so charged by it because it spoke to my heart, telling me that no matter how far i come in life, i can always, always improve, progress and grow just a little bit more. It is what i try to encourage in my clients and in my friends, in my contacts and in my encounters. I want to see, know and experience that future person, that future me, the better, more perfected me. The one that, with a little more courage and a little more stretching, i am striving everyday to become.

And the future community that i am dedicated to assisting to grow.

(and ps, the only word i can think of to describe this is EXCITEMENT!!! )

What a blessing it is that we can always keep learning and growing! We can go to school and learn, and then go back and learn something else. We can meet someone who teaches us how to be more compassionate, more heart-warming, more COURAGEOUS. We can look inside ourselves and choose to improve on this or that. It takes an instant to make such a decision, and yet the effect can be profound and life-changing.

If what we focus on expands then i’m choosing to focus on all the good i can see, and all the good that i want and expect to experience in life. That doesn’t mean there won’t be problems, but if i am to grow to become bigger than my problems, then stretching outside of my comfort zone, taking courage and striving for excellence in all things is going to be far more valuable than focusing on those problems, right?

Yes, i thought so too

Life is full of questions, big ones, little ones, odd-shaped ones.

Like what? you might ask

Well, like what do you do to take time out? How do you cope with living in “quake town”? What should i do about my addiction to shoes and apple-magic-gadgetry? (might be talking about myself there…just quietly)…How do you meditate? What’s the best way to curb insomnia? What’s your favourite book/website/inspirational blog/poem/jazz tune/muffin/prayer/conversation starter/foreign thrift shop/tea-time-treat? The list is endless. And then there’s always those adorable souls who just want to shout out “I love someone, and they love me, and i just wanted to share that with the world ”

So here it is, the pilgrim’s daughter goes out into the world with her little side project, where you can ask away till your heart’s content, and i promise i will answer. And if you’re very lucky, you might just end up with a whole blog post right here, dedicated entirely to answering your awesome question.

res·o·lute/ˈrezəˌlo͞ot/

Adjective: Admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering

Synonyms: Determined – firm – decided – resolved – decisive

Admirably purposeful. Sounds awesome.

Last year was last year. This year is a new day, a new dawn, a summery start to my exhausting “winter” (not real winter, just 2 weeks of hitting the wall after a long and challenging, albeit highly successful, 2011).

My aims this year start with a word of gratitude to all those people who helped me get to where i am today. If you have ever entered my sphere before, no matter how seemingly remote or fleeting an acquaintance, then YOU are one of these special sunshiny souls that i appreciate with all my heart. I wholeheartedly thank you for being in my life, for without you along my path, i might have never got to this awesome spot on my travels through life.

I have a great many goals i’d like to achieve this year, but the good thing about my goals is that they are an extension of what was already achieved last year. That is to say, my goals are simply a gigantic leap of progress – one of my favourite words – and i will strive for excellence in all things, to the best of my ability (up and until of course my ability progresses to a level that is currently outta reach, in which case i will strive even further…see how awesome progress is???!!!)

I’d like to think that my job, my service projects and my interaction with others on a personal and professional level all play some part in assisting them to achieve further success in their lives, as adding value to others is one of my core beliefs in life. So, to kick off the new year and in order to help those of you wishing to achieve some 2012 goals in the health and fitness arena, i have put on offer some wicked promotions for you, your friends, family and co-workers, which can be found here. There’s even a reward program for those of you who already train with me, because really, if it weren’t for all of you, i wouldn’t be here in the first place. Again, a giant thank you goes out to all of you gems!

Happy new year my friends.

More quakes, yes. Another messy house, yes. Concern around the country, around the globe, yes. News reports all a flurry, as per usual, yes.

But you know what? I’m determined to not let this get to me. As i sit here typing this, my couch is surfing the aftershock waves. And i don’t care. My dad is cleaning up, my mum too. I’ve done some and now my job is to say hello to you, whilst Joan Armatrading is playing in the background on full boar. I’ve checked in with my neighbours and friends and it appears we are all safe and sound, now that the power is back on

I was in the middle of an acupuncture session when the second one, or was it third…anyway, when that other big one hit today. You might think that was an issue, but not for me – i was de-stressing, haha, not such a bad experience when you have pressure-releasing needles in your skull :-p

In any case, this is just a simple little post to say that i reckon we’re being reminded why we’re all here – some might say that Christmas has become a time for nothing but over-indulgence in a lot of areas, and yet not nearly as much over-indulgence in the area of spirituality. I for one am feeling pretty grateful right now, and so, so glad that God is still in my heart and in my head as we push through another shaky Christmas season in Christchurch, the Garden City.

Wishing you all a fruitful end of year

Have you ever been penalised for being too nice? Too loving? Too generous? I have. And it hurts.

There’s something so very raw about being told that everything you’ve been offering in service to another has been too much for that person to bear because they can’t believe that they deserve to be the recipient of such kindness. It’s like that whole “oh, i’m sorry, you’re far too qualified for this job, it is beneath you”, when all you desperately want is to earn a living. The only difference here is that your pay-out would usually come in the form of friendship, love, satisfaction at having responded to your calling or having simply done a good turn to someone. At the really deep end, you get shafted by someone you love because they feel inadequate at trying to match your niceties. What a cop out.

A woman i met recently who suffers from multiple sclerosis was explaining to me that all she wants in life is to be part of a community. Part of a group of lovely and loving people who accept her for who she is and what she has to offer the world. This woman is a ball of sunshine – even when weeping because she had felt so alone – she is a genuinely kind person who just needed a friendly ear. She sent me an email saying that she felt so welcomed into my sphere, wishing so much to become a part of my community of spiritually connected and like-minded people, and that my “loveliness made loveliness sprout around” me! What a warm fuzzy that is from someone i’d only met three times.

How is it that one person can soak up all you are offering with gracious acceptance and another can throw it back at you beating their heads and pleading their unworthiness? Must we torture ourselves by not accepting help, love, friendship or kindness when we are offered it? Does that make it more honourable because we’ve decided to become virtue-martyrs?

A dear friend of mine once told me off for not accepting a compliment, which i am actually so thankful for because i now always remember what he said to me (and i’m paraphrasing here): if you can’t accept the compliment for yourself, then accept it as a God-given gift, on His behalf.  In light of that comment, i now make a point when someone is complimenting me to accept that genuine display of love and kindness as something real and valuable, because it sometimes takes courage to pass on a compliment or word of gratitude, and also because that person has just recognised something in me that is of value to them. I’m sure it would hurt their feelings if i threw that back at them saying “now that you’ve laid your soul bare in gratitude i’m going to disregard your comments and give them back because i’m so incredibly unworthy of your kindness”.

Instead, i’m now saying thank you, whether i believe i’m worthy or not.

So i guess my quandary tonight is this: what do you do when someone you care about puts you so far up on a pedestal that you don’t know how to get down? What do you do when you think you are doing all you can to show forth love and support to that friend and all they see is themselves, shrinking? Do you stop? Retreat? Start pelting them with hate mail?

And then, when someone desperately seeks a connection with you, seeks a sense of community, how do you discern between these two hearts? It’s a tricky road to travel…i guess connection and unity should always be the foundation. And maybe communication.

My point for my gratitude series today is that i have community, i have connections, i have a lot of support and a whole lot of love in my life. From friends, family, acquaintances and from total strangers. I am one lucky gal in that sense, even if i don’t know how to deal with pedestalitis (not a real word…yet).